Confirmation and Consent

To my kids-

Yesterday was gross. Very real issues were caught up in a political theatre in which every participating party had their mind made up going in, and never had any intention of changing. It’s not new. The things we excuse in the name of our tribes, as well as the causes we selectively undertake, will be the hypocrisies that burden our children, binding them into the same lives of aimless division that we’re living today.

Watching Lindsay Graham feign outrage over a process of delay that he himself participated in two years ago…

Watching democrats’ level of “belief” in allegations seemingly depend on whether it can help attain their desired political outcome…

It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to watch 84-year old senators comment on the looks of a woman testifying to her recollections of a sexual assault in relation to her level of perceived credibility.

You don’t have to be in situations where sexual misconduct allegations are weighed and measured in public forums several decades after the fact.

You can burn this whole thing down.

Vote. If there’s no one you feel like voting for, run. If you don’t feel qualified to run, find someone who you believe in, and offer to support them.

It might not always be easy to talk to me about these things, and if you ever feel that you can’t, please talk to each other. Remove and reject the taboos around sex, sexual and mental health, and power dynamics. Open yourself up to the idea that the broken systems of generations’ past don’t have to be your burden.

You don’t need tribes more than you need truth.

You don’t need the seductive confidence of ideologues more than you need grace.

You don’t need communities that place you into an eternal game of tug-of-war in order to satisfy your desire to be part of something, or have an illusory semblance of control.

You’re already part of something. You’re in this together, hanging out on a giant spinning rock in space for infinitesimally finite period. Why waste time walking in the mistakes of your predecessors? Don’t let our affinity for partisanship be your punishment. Don’t let generations of attitudes of physical manifest destiny and dominion rob you of the incredible gift of a sexual relationship rooted in respect, consent, patience and commitment.