Time Is Not The Enemy

Dear Eleanor,
 
I used to work at the dead-end-iest of dead end jobs that I can imagine. It was my first job, senior year of high school, and easily the worst. The company was The Analytical Group and the position was call center representative. I was the “call you early on a Saturday morning and ask you how much you hated your electric company” guy. I was the “call you during dinner and ask you 100 questions about the latest pizza monstrostiy” guy. I was the “call you at 10:00pm and ask the lady of the house about her personal shaving habits” guy. No one wants to be that guy. But they paid well, the schedule worked, and it was super easy. 

On the job, as I listened to the telephone ring again and again, hour after hour, I grew to resent time. It was slow like molasses. Later on in college, time went from teasing me to betraying me. When I needed it, it was never there. All of the term papers, study hours, work hours, rehearsal hours, church hours, social hours, and sleep hours never seemed to squeeze inside of the tiny 24 hour box. When I wanted time to stand still, the moment ended. Time was my enemy. It never did what I wanted it to do. 

To take up an enemy requires some degree of mental and emotional work. You must steel yourself in opposition and solidify a mindset of combative resolve. The whole process can be very silly (see Internet message boards), but when you choose TIME it is an absolute joke. You will always lose. This will not be due to unfair attacks or sneaky trickery. Time, of all things, is unmercifully consistent. We humans quite simply are not. To spend any effort at all raging, lamenting, and despairing time’s slow, deliberate creep or mysteriously swift passage is just about as effective as pissing into the wind. Time is not the enemy.

Ellie, you recently turned 5 years old. That is nearly 1/6th of my life to date that we’ve now spent together. Lots of people have said things like they cannot believe it, or it all happened so quick. I’ve been admonished that I will never get these years back and that they will be gone before I know it. “Time as enemy” thoughts start to bleed in. How could the hours, days, and years rob me of my child’s childhood? Silly, Absurd, Pointless. I am ending the war. I’m choosing to make time a friend. Like all of the best friendships I’ve ever had, I will think of it as a gift. 

We’ve had 5 incredible, dance infused, nuzzle packed, total meltdown laden, challenge ridden, peak cherished, valley trodden, cheerios fueled, love drenched, heart filled till it almost exploded years. When I look back for a moment, I can only feel that the time was good to us. If we’ve agreed on a friendship with time, then they best thing we can do is be passionate and generous in how we share it. That is what great friendship inspires. I can’t wait to dream up what we might fill our hours with in the years to come. We’ve had 5 incredible years. I’m looking forward to many more. 

Love,
Dad