Dear Malin Reeese,
12 a.m. on March 12th
You woke up an hour ago, coughing like you’d just swallowed a wheat stalk. I was in the next room, trying to figure out what this letter was going to be about. I’d almost committed to writing a scorched earth political rant(about this) when your hack session started. An hour later, I’m realizing it was a welcome interruption. The only lesson you would’ve learned from that letter was how pointless it is to air your political opinions. So, back to that cough of yours…
When I heard it persist for more than a couple of minutes, I sighed and muttered “Shit”. Earlier tonight, I’d had the distinct thought that you were on your way to being sick. I sighed and muttered “Shit” at that time too. Being a parent has highlighted many of my character traits, good and bad. Turns out that one of my less desirable traits is that I can be a little melodramatic. Why does your common cold trigger the melodrama? I think it’s pretty simple. When you get sick it’s inconvenient. It screws up the cadence of our week. WE HAVE TO MAKE ALTERNATIVE ARRANGEMENTS! There it is. Melodrama in written word.
Being a parent has highlighted many of my character traits, good and bad. Turns out that one of the things I’ve become pretty good at is introspection. Here’s what I’ve found upon further investigation. My melodrama is an excellent defense against something I’d care rather not deal with. Something I’d rather not admit.
I’m not very good at parenting the tough stuff.
It might sound silly that I consider dealing with a sick kid the “tough stuff” but for me it is. I hate to see you miserable and I hate feeling helpless. But maybe that’s what parenting the tough stuff means.Be present in your misery. Hold your hand, rub your back and embrace the feeling of helplessness.
Malin, you continue to be the best part of my life. You’ll probably be a pain in the ass at some point but you’ll never be an inconvenience. And one last thing; right now you’re laying next to me, I’m rubbing your back and you’re finding comfort watching Adam Levine from Maroon 5 sing a song called “Sugar”. This isn’t my proudest moment but at least it’s not Nickelback.