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Christian, husband, father, and pastor. Also a proud and dedicated nerd. One of the dads at TheDadLetters.com and author of TheLivesIHaveLived.wordpress.com. Acts 20:24

Seriously, Ask Her More

Braxton-

It seems ridiculous, really. I imagine it like someone sitting outside of a classic car show, fantastic engines roaring their power, talented drivers behind the wheel, and asking, “Yes, but what color is your car?” …Really? Is that seriously the question you want to ask in this situation?

Okay, I started my rant too early. Let me start at the beginning.

The Oscars happened a couple of nights ago. Now, I don’t watch the Oscars, nor have I ever really cared about the awards themselves (except for the time Heath Ledger won best supporting actor as The Joker), but I did run across an article yesterday. In a nutshell, it states how tired actresses are becoming of the question, “Who are you wearing?” or “Who made your dress?” Most don’t mind the question itself, in fact, many love their dress and the chance to compliment its designer. The problem is when that’s the focus of the conversation. Here we have some of the world’s most talented women, with a collective hundreds of years of experience in their craft,  and the most asked question is, “Who are you wearing?”

Seriously, ask her more.

In fact, that phrase rang through the internet in response. #AskHerMore was a trending hashtag as even those watching found themselves wishing that questions with more depth would be asked of the women on the red carpet.

Now, the obvious question now is, “what on earth does this have to do with me?”

Son, there will come a day, if that day has not already arrived, when you look at a woman and instantly realize how the clothes she is wearing…uh…accent her body. It’s easy, at that point, to stop there, to let yourself entertain thoughts about that woman, to allow the physical side of her be all that remains in your mind. But when that happens, we forget that there is a person in those clothes, in that dress. A human being with talents, hobbies, joys, fears, and so much more resides in that outfit that garnered your attention.

Sure, maybe she likes fashion. Maybe she loves what she’s wearing. Maybe the fact that her clothes have caught your amorous looks is actually making her day.

That absolutely does not mean that’s all that she has to offer. Ask her more.

Ask her what her favorite movie is. Ask her what she thinks about current events. Ask her what she’s passionate about. Or even if this is a total stranger and you have no intention of striking up a conversation, understand that there are answers to those questions.

At least more answers than, “You can thank American Eagle for your current spike in blood pressure. *WINK*”

Truthfully, there’s nothing wrong with appreciating a beautiful piece of art, the artist that made it, or the person displaying it. The designers deserve the mention, I’m sure they worked hard. But “Who are you wearing” shouldn’t be the pièce de résistance any more than someone should be able to reduce any person to simply the clothes they are wearing. There’s so much more to a person than the cloth that covers them.

Don’t let yourself stop with just looking at what a woman is wearing.

Ask her more.

1 Corinthians 1:4

Dad

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3 Comments on “Seriously, Ask Her More”

  1. peasie2014 February 26, 2015 at 10:52 pm #

    Bravo!

  2. michelleat26 March 1, 2015 at 8:06 pm #

    This is beautiful. So inspiring. I love your writing.

    • SRValdez March 2, 2015 at 10:39 am #

      Thanks, Michelle 🙂

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