I love the internet, I seriously do. For a guy who likes to just know things, because, you know, it’s fun to know things, the internet is a wonderful tool. “Wow, a stone in weight is equal to fourteen pounds! Thanks, Google!”
That is a dramatic reenactment of a real thing that happened today.
Unfortunately, like so many other good things in the world, people have taken it and exploited it to serve the basest of cravings and make money from it. It’s not an uncommon practice anywhere, but the internet serves as a particularly potent host, as this debauchery is available to anyone with a decent internet connection and a web ready device at anytime, anywhere.
I am, as you may have guessed, talking about pornography.
I’m going to try and stay away from phrases like “I hate the pornography industry” or “pornography literally makes me sick to my stomach”, because I don’t want to convey judgment to those who watch it, especially those who struggle with knowing they shouldn’t, but do so anyway. But let’s just settle on the complete understatement, “I’m not a fan of pornography”.
Now, I’ve been meaning to write you a letter about pornography for a while. Not because I think you’ll be particularly weak against it, and not because I think your sisters will be immune to it, there are women who struggle with pornography like many men do. I’ve been meaning to write you specifically because it’s just a fact that men are significantly more likely to succumb to the allures of pornography. So, as much as I hope that things are different when you are reading this, it’s my thought that you absolutely need to be prepared for this.
But, I didn’t just sit down today and think, “Okay, now’s the time to write my son about this!” Something triggered my need to write this, and it is something that was outright appalling to me.
There are so many disappointing things that this article reveals, not the least of which is just how much the porn industry is growing.
But it’s the subject of the article that I really want to touch on, as I have come to the same conclusion the author has.
It is an absolute insult, a veritable tragedy, that “love” would be the word most used when discussing pornography.
Now, I get that it was most likely that people used it to say things like, “I love this”, the same way I would describe my affection for bacon or baseball. But it still needs to be said that few things are farther from real love than pornography.
This may seem like an exaggeration, but it’s more real than people would like to admit. And it’s certainly more real than anything that exists within porn.
Pornography is all about self gratification. There is no sacrifice, no exchange, absolutely no love. All it does is lie to the watcher, tell him or her that this is what sex is like, it says that this is how people should act when it comes to sex, and it, therefore, completely demolishes healthy sex lives.
That’s right, porn doesn’t help sex lives. It ruins it. It’s addictive, and like any other addiction, there needs to be a continual escalation to satisfy, until finally, real world sex just doesn’t cut it anymore.
Son, this may sound weird coming from your dad, but I want you to have an outstanding sex life someday. I want you to share physical love with your wife in a way that only real love can produce. And when people allow the pathetic substitute for love that is porn dominate their lives, they can’t have that.
Okay, I need to take a breath…
Look, if it sounds like I’m passionate about this, it’s because I am. I just want you (and everyone, really) to know the type of real, passionate, intimate sex that only real love can produce. And what’s real love? Real love is absolute commitment to your spouse and your spouse alone.
I know how this world works, and unless something drastic happens in the next few years, pornographers will only become more and more cunning and sly when trying to lure people into their trap. You will be tempted. Expect it and be ready for it. And, as awkward as it may be, know that you can absolutely talk to me about it. I write you these letters so I can communicate things to you as I think them, but that doesn’t mean we can’t discuss these things, man to man.
Braxton, do you want to have real sex someday? Do you want fulfilling, satisfying, real sex?
Then stay away from pornography.
Porn kills love.
1 Corinthians 1:4
Christian, husband, father, and pastor. Also a proud and dedicated nerd. One of the dads at TheDadLetters.com and author of TheLivesIHaveLived.wordpress.com.