Today’s guest letter comes from Chris Wiley, father of Lilah and Norah. Chris resides in Chandler, Arizona with his wife, Rachel.
Lilah and Norah –
You two light up my life like this over-used cliché. You’re both beautiful, fun, smart, and joys to be around – most days, anyway. But, there is something neither of you are, and well…it was very hard for me to accept. Sigh…here goes nothing.
Girls: neither of you are boys.
When the doctor pointed to screen and there was not a definitive boy part, I was disappointed. Both times.
Lilah, you were easier to accept because you were the first. You were going to be a dainty princess with flowers in your hair and always need your daddy. I still had another shot at getting a boy on the second go around. I was 0 for 1, but I had another chance up at bat.
Norah, while your mom was pregnant with you, the doctor brought up the ultrasound images and smiled as she said, “see that?!” Nope, I thought. Smirking, the tech pointed the arrow on the screen and typed GIRL across the top. I dropped the Hail Mary pass in the end zone. My heart sank a little, and I asked the doctor if she was sure – and if she wouldn’t mind checking again to see if maybe it was just little, or turned, or maybe she saw it wrong? She humored me, moved the device around, and confirmed the previous call by writing “GIRL GIRL GIRL GIRL GIRL GIRL” across the top of the screen/photo.
Girls, I didn’t know how to deal with not getting a boy. Of course, I thought, we could always have a third – maybe the third time is the charm? But, then again I was 0-2 and I could just see us going for the third and ending up with a set of twin girls. I was happy that you were a healthy baby, but I was definitely a little overcome with disappointment that you were a girl – not Chinese level of disappoint in little girls, but still. And, not helping, was the brigade of your uncles heckling me upon my return from the ultrasound appointment all the way to Mexico for our guys trip.
I had an immediate bond with you, Lilah, as I had come to terms immediately with your gender outcome, but it took some time for me to establish a bond with you, Norah – I tried everything. I mean, your middle name is Christopher. I bought you little cowboys footie pajamas, and Arizona jerseys. Then, one day I took you girls camping in the mountains near Happy Jack, Arizona. It was awesome. You were both excited to be camping, digging in the dirt, climbing hills, finding bugs, riding quads and going fast. You girls loved the fire at night and asked to go fishing in the morning.
I got to thinking – why do I need a boy? What could a boy do for me that my girls can’t? I have the best of both worlds! I get to spoil you and pamper you while working on hair dos, nail painting parties and dance recitals (I am a nail polish wiz, and can do at least two types of braids now), but I also get to take you girls out and play catch in the greenbelt, race bicycles, go fishing, and camping too.
I was very reluctant to click on this video when I saw it come across, because you girls are 2 and 4 and I’m just not ready for things down the lady aisle yet – and this video is produced by the major brand of lady things. I am glad I finally clicked on it, because it sums it up pretty perfectly.
There’s nothing wrong with doing things “like a girl,” and I am so very glad I got two ambitious, fun loving, football and basketball watching, fishing, dancing, dress wearing little girls in my life who will do so many things just like girls will do them.
Love both you girls,