What Should We Build?

Today’s guest letter is from Jerome Abston. Jerome is the father of “two extremely emotionally different boys,” Jerome Jr., AKA “Deuce” (2 yrs and 7 months), and Caven, AKA “Caveman” (10 months). Jerome is an avid sports nut, tech junkie, and comic book nerd. Jerome works for for Broadsoft as a Tier 3 Technical support engineer and Team Lead. He met and lives with his beautiful wife Brittny in Phoenix, AZ- and “despite what you’ve heard about gingers, she has a tremendous soul.

Dear Jerome Jr. (Deuce) and Caven,

30 months of parenting two boys with two totally different personalities. I’m trying to grasp- and when I say grasp I mean hold on for dear life. We thought two kids would be easy because Deuce was such an easy baby. Of course Caven would be just as easy, right? (but oh, no)

Deuce, you were quiet and independent, rocking yourself to sleep at just two months old. We never had a problem with you… until you learned the words “no” and “I don’t want to.”

Caven, you are our resident screaming, impatient toddler. You let everyone know you are present with your voice, or the hugs you give when you want to be passed around the room like a hot potato.

The two of you are inseparable, yet you’re always doing your own thing. Deuce, if you’re watching a movie, your brother is right there with you, either stuffing his face, or trying to get in between you and the TV. Caven, if you’re hogging mommy’s time by standing or laughing, Deuce is in the same room, using the distraction to empty my wallet or mommy’s purse.

Caven, you’re cuddly and lovey, whereas Deuce is independent and doesn’t care for hugs and kisses unless it’s his mommy or Rylan. Caven you tend to be easily scared and upset, while Deuce just rolls with what’s going on. You’ll read this and probably laugh, and maybe point fingers, but its all in fun. I have to list these early personality traits out for you because those are parts of your mother and I that we embrace in ourselves, and love about you guys.

This thing called fatherhood is pretty awesome, but tiring when I factor in your split personalities. It’s a journey that I hope is making me a better man. I’m learning on a curve because while you guys have me, I’m your blueprint, I really didn’t have a blueprint so to speak. It’s like I have a box full of Legos and I don’t know what to build, but that’s life. It’ll never be perfect. Sometimes you’ll have to wait on it (Caven- Mr. Impatient), or look up and grab a moment and hold on for the ride. Being your dad has magnified what I missed in life, and makes me appreciate this journey a little bit more. You two are helping me build with my disjointed bucket of Legos. So what are we going to build? A spaceship? A monster? A robot? A dragon? A superhero? I have an idea let’s build them all! I just want you guys to know that you are also building me into what I need to be.




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