Pour Up (Drank)
Head Shot (Drank)
Sit Down (Drank)
Stand Up (Drank)
Pass Out (Drank)
Wake Up (Drank)
Nelson Mandela Kendrick Lamar.
You’re almost 5 months old. We have yet to enter that stage where you ingest 15% of the solid food we give you, and use the other 85% as lotion.
For right now, you’re on that formula.
When you drink, you get weird. You get chatty after a few sips, but you’re totally incoherent. Still, you don’t stop with a few sips- you keep going until you can hardly hold your head up. Often times you drink until you pass out. Other times you soil yourself- and you’re no stranger to imbibing until you vomit.
There’s a word for how you get when you drink: plastered, smashed, bombed, sloshed, sauced, lubricated, wrecked, juiced, blasted, blitzed, fried, wasted, hopped up, pissed, tanked, soaked, loaded, trashed, hammered, buzzed, pickled, canned, ripped, stewed- when you get a few ounces of that stuff in you, any of these adjectives could apply.
I sometimes wonder if you feel like you have to drink just to feel good. The way you get when it’s been just a couple hours since your last fix- frankly, it worries me. Your mood changes, you shake and yell. You totally quit caring about the things you usually love, like eating your own toes. There have been plenty of times when we’re in the middle of a game of peek-a-boo, I can tell that you’re not really with me. You’re just thinking about that next bottle.
It’s time we intervene. It could take months to ween you off this habit, but we’ll get you there. One day at a time, one step at a time. Your older brothers went through this too, and we had to teach them to stand on their own two feet, and take things on one step at a time. The first step is the hardest, but once they completed 12 steps, they felt a freedom they never experienced before, and they were ready to transition to a healthier lifestyle. Did they relapse from time to time? Sure, but the point is they’ve reached a stage where they can have a glass of 2% milk with dinner from time to time and not have it end with your mother or myself carrying them to bed.
We’ll get through this.
Wyoming born. Arizona raised. Believer. Husband. Dad. Sports Reporter. Pineapple hater. Trying to live a life of gratitude.