M & J-
“Dad-blogging” is a popular hobby right now. I publish some of the letters that I write you boys onto the world wide web, so I’m familiar with the concept. Recently, a Canadian man received some feedback for writing that the oldest of his two sons was his favorite. He justified this by telling people that it’s natural to have favorites, and that they just “got along better.” Naturally, some were outraged while others were supportive. Opinions are aplenty when it comes to parenting.
I don’t really care what he did. The truth is, some people do have favorite children. Depending on how it shows itself around the house, it can have long term affects. I grew up in a house with favorites. I didn’t like it, but it didn’t matter much to me. Some kids can’t handle it though, and you can’t really blame a kid for not having the wherewithal or emotional intelligence to process odd parenting decisions.
Before I say anything else, let me tell you without any hesitation that your mother is my favorite. As long as she’s around, there’s not even a competition to be had.
Micah- You’re my favorite person to sit next to on the couch. You’re my favorite person to hear tell a story. No one in the world has a better smile. You’re my favorite person to read a book with.
Jett- You’re the one thing I’d take with me if I was trapped on a desert island. You’re my favorite source of entertainment, my favorite person to listen to a new record with, and the only person who can cheer me up with a single hug.
What it comes down to is that it’s natural to have things that you cherish above other things, but when it comes to your kids, it’s not about you- therefore it’s not up to you to designate favorites.
I love you both, and while I can’t always guarantee I”ll love you in the same way, or even for the same reasons, I do know that real love is all-encompassing and unconditional regardless of why it’s given.
Love,
Dad.
Thanks for adding to the discussion of the piece, I’m glad it’s given people pause to think about their own situations.
You’ll be interested in the follow up piece I’ve written in reaction to the attention: http://blogs.babble.com/kid-scoop/2012/10/04/ill-admit-it-i-have-another-favorite-kid/