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Wyoming born. Arizona raised. Sports Reporter. Trying to live a life of gratitude. Not a fan of pineapples.

Help us close the loopholes

Jett-

In the movie/biopic Catch Me If You Can, Frank Abagnale Jr. finds a way to con people out of millions of dollars in checks by impersonating a doctor, a lawyer and a pilot. In the end, the government gives him a job.

Why do they do this? Why do they seem to reward a man for destroying rule of law as a recreational hobby? They do this because because there’s no one better to plug the loopholes than the person who seems to be able to exploit them better than anyone else.

That being said, can you join the parenting team that is your mother and I, and just help to raise yourself? You, young sir, are the three-year-old equivalent of Frank Abagnale.

Here’s a recent example of your rule-exploiting wizardry at a restaurant this weekend:

Mom- “Finish eating your food, Jett.”

Jett- “I want to go to timeout.”

Mom- “No… why? you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Jett- “I go to timeout now.”

Dad- “No. You need to listen. You didn’t do anything, timeout isn’t for fun, it’s to think about your actions. Right now it’s time to eat. Just sit down, and finish your food.”

Jett- “OK, timeout.”

Mom- “Jett- please listen, you know what happens when you don’t listen.”

Jett- “Yes. Timeout.” Walks over and sits in next to the wall, playfully counts to 20.

And Scene.

See what you did there? Not only did you take away the power of the timeout by using it as your own personal playtime- you broke the damn system. We refused to put you in timeout, and your defiance triggered a standard discipline that earns you what? A friggen timeout!

How am I supposed to compete with this type of deviant brilliance? Come work for our side, please. Help us close the loopholes.
Love,

Dad

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One Comment on “Help us close the loopholes”

  1. Laura Reich August 21, 2012 at 8:29 am #

    That is fantastic.

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