After three straight weeks of the world united over the spectacle that is the Olympic Games, we now get stay united by both awe and fear as we turn our attention to Shark Week. What is Shark Week? It’s the one week a year, hilariously placed in the middle of beach season, where about 100 hours of television programming makes available every fact and figure about the genus Carcharodon. It’s a Rosetta Stone of sorts, in that watching the full set of programming technically makes you a fluent “shark expert,” and one close encounter away from getting our own dedicated hour of TV the following year.
Shark Week was made for someone like you, who just gravitates toward all things ridiculously awesome. You’re a populist of awesomeness. Don’t ever confuse that with me calling you “trendy.” Most immaterial trends have to do with temporary perspectives, and most temporary perspectives are negative. You don’t have a negative bone in your body (sharks don’t have ANY bones in their bodies).
Are there people who don’t like Shark Week? Yes, and that’s OK. Watching a two ton fish with 300 razor-sharp teeth leap through the air with murderous intent, all captured in every angle imaginable through a slow motion lens, all from the safety of your living room, isn’t for everybody. Most people love it though. If a nerd like your mother, and a mouth-breather like me agree that it’s cool… it’s cool.
Maybe you’ll end up as one of the people who don’t like it. One-armed surfer Bethany Hamilton probably gets anxious during shark week. She has a valid reason. The reason that many people don’t enjoy what the popular majority enjoys is just that- the popular majority enjoys it. A select few can withstand everyone say that something is great, when they know in their heart that it isn’t. The rest get vocal about their opposition, and these people are called “haters.”
If I teach you only one thing in your life, I’d want it to be that it’s alright to not be for something, but that doesn’t mean you have to be against it. It’s called “living in the tension.” Let others have their excitement, and if you have to be in active opposition, make it about what you do enjoy, not what you don’t. For example, you can’t read yet, but if you could, you might notice that almost all of the bumper stickers on cars nowadays say something to the effect of either “Hooray Obama!” or “Obama sucks!” This speaks to my point- if you’re not enthusiastic about the current Charles in Charge, find a bumper sticker that says what, or whom, you do support. If you don’t like Shark Week, and someone brings it up around you, instead of raining on their parade, maybe bring up the fact that hippos kill 2900 people annually. Crazy huh? I bet you thought those hungry hungry guys only ate marbles.
Anyway- enjoy Shark Week. You’re three, so it shouldn’t really be as big of a deal as I’ve already made it.