Your mom and I aren’t cousins


Hey buddy. I hope this transition into a new school after a month off, and us dragging you all over the western U.S., hasn’t been too tough.

I lost my job last week. It’s something that happens to everyone. It’ll probably happen to you some day, especially if you have a job that involves not punching your brother in the face (You wouldn’t last a week). I’d love to give you some advice about resiliency and perseverance, but I never even got to see if I possess that kind of strong character. Within days, because I’m surrounded by good people, I had already accepted a position to teach English to middle-schoolers. My advice is this- surround your self with good people, always. I’m sure successfully navigating an existential crisis in which I had to deal with the pressures that come with not being able to fulfill my gender’s role as an effective “provider” would have made for some impactful reading, but you can always just watch the movie Pursuit of Happyness.

Had I not been able to find work, I’d have been able to hang out with you all day. I like you, so it’s a rather decent way to be down and out. Now that I’m working and you’re at a new school, I worry. You’re smart, but sometimes being so smart can get in the way of making friends. I’m glad you know more about the earth’s Triassic period than most college graduates, but Bobby at the art table doesn’t care. He wants to pick boogers, and if you can’t identify with that, it’s gonna be a tough road. Someday soon you’ll realize that all the dinosaurs are long gone, but boogers? We’ll always have those.

One other thing about school- I don’t know where you got this from, but your mom and I aren’t cousins. Telling everyone you meet that your parents are related is a great way to end up in foster care.

Love you buddy,


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