Screen Shot 2014-12-18 at 2.10.20 PM December 18

An Ode to A Christmas Story: A Terrible Film (That I’ve Never Actually Seen)

Sons- In November of 1983, while I was still in the womb, a film was released that would completely destroy both my childhood, as well as every holiday season for the rest of my life. That movie? A Christmas Story. The worst movie in the history of cinema. Early 1984 just wasn’t a good time to be […]

Jacqui2 December 16

I Love Your Mom More Than I Love You

“In the game of parenting, your mother is my teammate, you three are not. Consider yourselves the ball…

sarah-mclachlan-aspca-ad-a December 11

On Charity

Dear Malin Reese, Sarah Mclachlan has an impressive set of pipes. She can also pen a song with the best of them. “Possession” is a masterpiece. The Lilith Fair was one of the most successful concert series of the 90’s and she produced it and was the headline act. If I were a 20-something female […]

IMG_0198.JPG December 09

A Jilted Sleepy Bear

Dear Eleanor, For as long as you have been alive you have maintained a stalwart companion. Through the better part of almost five years he has enjoyed a completely different standing from the other mere toys. He has been closer than your favorite dresses, captured your heart more than your most cherished shoes, and even […]

Zoe_3 December 07

Your Pit Bull

Dear River, I want to tell you a story about your dog, Zoe. We found her cowering at the pound. She wasn’t barking like the other dogs. She was simply laying there, looking up at us. The tag said, “lab mix” and she was slated to be killed in a week. We fell for it, thinking […]

Screen Shot 2014-12-04 at 9.40.27 AM December 04

I’m Weird Too.

Sons, “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson It’s rare that the three of you are serious. When one of you becomes serious, the others drown out your sobriety by elevating their levels of strange until you have no choice but […]

Black Friday December 02

The Blackest of Fridays

Audrey Rae, Braxton, and Charlotte- As Tevye the Dairyman once shouted with fervor, “tradition!“ Okay, maybe our tradition isn’t as important to us as Anatevka’s was to him, but I still love it. There is a day in which the Christmas season “officially” begins, and sales that the mind can hardly comprehend come to light […]

shutterstock_44190772 November 25

On Ferguson and Dinosaurs

Sons- I stayed up last night watching the news. Networks from all over the country converged on Ferguson, Missouri to document the reaction to a grand jury decision to not prosecute a police officer who fatally shot a young man. Some people were sad. Some people were happy. A handful were violent. A large number […]

dog_robot November 23

Broken Mousy Robot

Dear Adeline, We play a game. It’s called “Broken Mousy Robot,” and it is exactly how it sounds. The gist is to pretend that we are quite literally broken mouse robots. You squeal in glee as we convulse in an attempt to conjure the perfect replication of a robot, that is a mouse, that’s tragically […]

Role Model November 18

What You And Sir Charles Have In Common

look, he’s “Sir Charles”. Don’t argue with me, I’m your father


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